It’s a beautiful day. I’m feeling great. It’s like the sun is shining just for me and everything in my life feels right. Days like this make me want to be sober forever because they’re so awesome, but then there are days that feel like shit and all I want to do is drink myself into oblivion…and that makes me not want to drink forever either.
So yeah, it’s complicated – or maybe it isn’t? What do you think?
Daily Reflections July 6
The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear. . . .TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 76
As I walk through life, fear can be found everywhere. It is the root of my depression and unhappiness; it also fuels my addiction to alcohol.
But there’s a Higher Power in A.A., one who wants me to live without this evil thread running deep inside me so that I may find not only peace but joy as well!
The Alcoholics Anonymous meetings have been the vehicle for my freedom from character defects. When I am struggling with a defect, I can identify what is underneath that fear and ask God to relieve me of it so that healing may happen in its wake.
Step Seven is one of the great miracles in my life. I pray for help identifying what fear leads me to behave badly, and then ask God to relieve that fear. This method works without fail because it’s so powerful!
When I feel uncomfortable, irritated, or depressed, I look for fear.
This “evil and corroding thread” is the root of my distress: Fear of failure; fear of others’ opinions; fear of harm, and many other fears. I have found a Higher Power who does not want me to live in fear and as a result, the experience A.A. in my life is freedom and joy.
The steps are my vehicle to freedom from these defects that characterized my life while drinking alcohol.”